Internet Dating - An Insiders Guide Part II

Internet Dating - My Story
Wanna know who I am and what I'm rambling about this? Check out my previous Internet Dating post.

Internet Dating - Screening
Let's face it ladies men are better at this...they look at pictures, eliminate the impossible read further and narrow it down with their single focused minds. We see so many possibilities (hopefully we're all past the point where we see the potential - i.e. perfect with a few changes we plan to implement - instead of the man) that further investigation may be required. I tend to google search people for more background info - but that's just me.

The primary thing to remember when reading profiles is the random abundance in the world. We tend to operate from the idea that there is one person out there for us and we need to find him like a needle in a haystack. Lose this idea! It will make you desperate or at least make you act desperate. There is no need to look under rocks. If the guy is a chain smoker and you cant stand the thought of inhaling a cig then dont read further. Even if he was otherwise perfect - that one thing can ruin it. Be willing to move on, there are plenty of profiles to sort thru just keep going.

Internet Dating - The First Meeting
Keep it simple, go for coffee. You'll probably both know in the first five minutes if this is going anywhere. So grab a drink, check each other out and then act accordingly. If its a perfect match you can move onto something after your caffeine fix. If not then you can cut bait and run without wasting a lot of each others time. Keep it casual, keep it simple and remember You Are Having Fun!!!!!

Internet Dating - An Insiders Guide Part I

Internet Dating - My Story
Let's talk about match.com, you hear the stories, everyone's got one I met my husband there..or someone's cousin did or someone else's best friends sister or... blah blah blah. So its become socially acceptable to date online and more and more people are jumping into the internet dating pool. And there's plenty to learn about this new style of dating.

I was online dating way back in 1998 when this was still a completely taboo subject and no one wanted to admit they were doing it. I dated online all the way thru 2004 when I met my husband (not from online dating). Recently divorced, I thought I'd go back and give internet dating another try. So I signed up for Match.com for a month so see what changed, what stayed the same and just the general state of affairs in Internet Dating.

Internet Dating - Safety Precautions
First off, lets remember these are strangers. No matter how much you email, im, chat or talk you still don't know them very well. Take some basic precautions. Meet in public places, don't take them back to your house and don't go back to theirs. I have very good intuition and so have had no real problems personally. And there are plenty of horror stories out there so don't be one of them.

Internet Dating - Profile Writing Tips for Men
Don't talk about how uncomfortable you are doing this and how you don't know what to say. Don't tell us what your friends say. Have the confidence to just be yourself, know yourself and put it out there. Its much easier for a woman to respect you if you have self confidence.

Internet Dating - Profile Writing Tips for Women
Men are visual. Pictures, Pictures, PICTURES!!! If you are uncomfortable with this just don't date online. Be comfortable being you. Full body shots are a necessity. It doesn't do you any good for a man to like your face then show up to meet you and find you aren't his type. Putting up recent accurate pictures (and the more the merrier) reduces the amount of face to face rejection you will have to deal with.

Internet Dating - Profile Writing Tips for Men and Women
* Be yourself. Its really easy to just click and keep going when your profile sounds like everyone else's. Got a unique hobby, a favorite TV show or something you just love? Talk about it. It will help catch attention and have people more interested in getting to know you.
* Be honest about what you are looking for - do you want to date, meet the love of your life, just have some fun? Let people know where you want to take it.
* Don't write a novel. Yes we all have alot of wants and needs and things to share about ourselves. And that's what dating is for...you dont have to cram it all into your profile.
* Do answer the questions. Yes it does matter, yes people do want to read your answers. Take the time to give at least some fair representation of yourself.
* Have fun!

Keep in mind that when you take it to the real world there will be a whole new dynamic to take in. There will be adjusting. There will be plenty of people you do not connect with. There are no guarantees and it may take awhile. So please, don't take yourself or the process too seriously. Relax, enjoy, have fun and just take it easy. It will all work out in the end. Happy Dating!

The Joys of Internet Dating - Affection Central

Ah, for all the bitching there is about internet dating, there are perks. You know for all the miscellaneous posturing, posing and generally maneuvering thru the landscape of possibilities, every once and a while - you hit pay dirt. That spark appears and you get past the first date. Sometimes it tanks on the second date, sometimes it lasts for a few months, sometimes... well, those are rarer times, but they do happen. A friend of mine is happily married to her online dating man. And don't we all have one of those stories these days. A friend, a cousin of a friend or a friend of our cousins actually met their spouse online. I did too but that's a whole nother story.

This here little moment is a little detour on the road of internet dating. A pit stop as it were. I recently started internet dating again, and I found an affection man. Wow! And do I love that or what?!!?! I didn't even realize how much I run on affection. It really, and I do mean Really, works for me. I feel loved and appreciated and sexy. And so this is a reminder that the point of dating is not always to get married, find the perfect man or start the perfect relationship. Sometimes its just about learning about your self, what you like and what works for you. I sure am. And hey, what's not to like about some snuggles?

Love and Relationships: Why am I seaching for what's wrong with him?

Went on a date last night and had a horrible realization. Well, actually it was a great realization, I just felt horrified. I realized I was thinking through all the questions I need to ask him to find out what he's really like so I can avoid anyone who wont "act right". Attempting to avoid pain thru random inquisitions....probably not so effective.

As I stopped to contemplate my mental process, I noticed feeling competitive. Like its a game to be won, getting to know someone, and if you do it right you'll know them and not be surprised and hurt by anything they do. As if that is even possible. I was wanting to find out how he really is so I'll know what to expect so as not to be disappointed. I believe you get what you expect to find, so looking for flaws and preparing for disappointment, pain and feeling shortchanged, looks like a bad idea. So why am I doing it. Knee jerk reactions.

I've spent so much time working on changing my default settings in my brain on other subjects. Now I found one more place to rearrange. Men. I know I love them, I know they are a challenge for me and I know I want to be more in tune with the men in my life. I've learned alot about this in the past few years and am just now really incorporating that. Remembering that men think differently. Remembering that men have different needs and desires from women. Remembering that men will react to me based on how I am with them. If I don't like how things are going I get to be different.

So I get to change my perspective here. The men in my life are happy to make me happy. All this requires is for me to know what makes me happy and be willing to ask for it. Both of which, of course, I have a hard time with...ah the joys of learning.

Where will all this dating business lead? Is Love in the Cards? Am I ready for a relationship? I'm feeling like I'm making progress and getting a better grip on me and my answers. I wandered around match.com for a few weeks. My membership is almost ready to expire and I have had an adventure thus far. Some flakes, some coffee meeting moments and some interesting phone calls.... and one very promising hunk.

So this is the perfect opportunity. To calm down, slow down and just enjoy being without letting my brain get the better of me. Breathe, inhale, exhale, repeat. Talk with him, walk with him, explore with him, get to know him, snuggle with him, spend time with him and just enjoy being together. No detailed analysis required. No striving to understand the inner workings of his mind. No looking for clues with which to tell the future. Just old fashioned, good clean (and maybe just a smidge of dirty) fun. Adventure awaits.

I get to spend more time being the best of me. Smiling, Expressive, Vulnerable, Happy, Excited, Cheerful, Inquisitive, Impulsive, Instinctive, Peaceful, Powerful, Passionate and just Damn Fun! Its fun to be reminded that when I am being my favorite me, men are oh so attracted to me. Its like the perfect magic potion. Just being adored for awhile. Ok, so just being adored a few days a week or even all the time has such wonderous appeal. And I wonder at the little sparks and tugs at my heart and where they might lead. And I can take great satisfaction in being willing to find out.