Its Amazing what happens when I get out of my own way

I'm going into business with my father. Yes, that's right. My father. And I haven't even lost my mind. I was just returning his call from a few weeks ago and it all unfolded. And yes, it was an unreturned call from a few weeks ago. That should give you an idea of how fabulous our relationship has been.

I'm learning things about me and in realising that have discovered how easy it is to do things differently. So I called my dad and instead of tuning him out for saying things I didn't want to hear - I just changed the subject. I know. This isnt some crazy cool novel concept. Its just that I've spent so many years just letting him drone on that it had ceased to occur to me altogether that I am in control of my life and can do something as simple as change a subject.

So instead of chanting in my head "I don't want to hear this", I stopped an thought what do I want to hear. It was just that easy. The subject matter changed. We started having an actual conversation for the first time in years. Ideas bounced back and forth and next thing you know - a business was born. We even got thru negotiating percentages painlessly and in four minutes flat.

Its amazing what I get when I remember I'm in charge of my life and my experiences.

Hand Analysis(Part II) Tented Arch Pattern - Wisdom

Earlier in the week I wrote about the general concepts of Hand Analysis. Below I'm going to investigate the third of the four main types of fingerprints and their classifications. These are used in determining the Life Focus (or as IIHA refers to it Life School) in your fingerprints.

Tented Arch Type Pattern - Wisdom

The calling of a whorl type pattern person is Wisdom. Their objective in this lifetime is to bring wisdom to those around them and to the world. Discovering this calling and expressing it is their life purpose.

The challenge for a wisdom person is learning to be decisive. The draw towards wisdom turns into a wandering in a well of information and knowledge if not managed consciously. So this is the downfall and risk of widsom, sitting on the fence.

Hand Analysis(Part II) Loop Pattern - Love

Earlier in the week I wrote about the general concepts of Hand Analysis. Below I'm going to investigate the second of the four main types of fingerprints and their classifications. These are used in determining the Life Focus (or as IIHA refers to it Life School) in your fingerprints.

Loop Type Pattern - Love

The calling of a whorl type pattern person is Love. Their objective in this lifetime is to bring love to those around them and to the world. Discovering this calling and expressing it is their life purpose.

The challenge for a love person is learning to be of give with and open heart. The draw to love turns into a feeling of fear of self and others if not managed consciously. So this is the downfall and risk of love, losing connection by closing the heart.

Death by Wrinkles

Eeek, I love Vegas and this weather is killing me!

My hands are literally flaking off. I put my best most nourishing lotion on ten times a day. All to no avail! I woke up this morning and it looked like my hands aged 5 years in the last week.

And I've been chugging water in an attempt to stay hydrated. It doesn't seem to be working on any level. I don't know how people live in this desert. I'm so excited to be leaving today to go back to my own desert where at least I can sit under my trees.

I wanna get out of here before my face starts following my hands to the valley of death by wrinkles.

Hand Analysis(Part II) Whorl Pattern - Service

Earlier in the week I wrote about the general concepts of Hand Analysis. Below I'm going to investigate the first of four main types of fingerprints and their classifications. These are used in determining the Life Focus (or as IIHA refers to it Life School) in your fingerprints.



Whorl Type Pattern - Service

The calling of a whorl type pattern person is Service. Their objective in this lifetime is to be of service to those around them and to the world. Discovering this calling and expressing it is their life purpose.

The challenge for a service person is learning to be of service without sacrificing themselves or their needs. The draw to give turns into a feeling of obligation to give if not managed consciously. So this is the downfall and risk of service, losing oneself in sacrifice.

Hand Analysis - Part I

This week I got introduced to the idea of finding your life purpose in your hand print. A bit of a surprising notion to me and sort of appealing...what would my life look like if I really knew why I am here? What if I could just look at every decision that came my way and looked at it in the context of - is this serving my life purpose or not? So I searched the internet and came across the International Institute of Hand Analysis. After a quick look at their site I could see the person I was talking with had definitely been involved with this organization since their terminology was identical.

Their theory is that there are four basic categories of life commitments. We all chose to be here either to work on Peace, Wisdom, Love or Service. Each of those types has a positive and negative aspect and it is our challenge to work through the negative aspect to arrive at the positive. I will be writing a separate blog on a bit more info about the four types including how to identify them on your own hand and the very basic implications in your life.

Hand Analysis focuses on two main categories of information in your hand, the hand itself and finger prints. While the hand and lines can change throughout your life, fingerprints are set five months before you are born and never change again. From a hand analyst's standpoint this is the difference in our lives of nature vs nurture. The fingerprints show the energy patterns that are our nature and the hand shows the results of our nurture.

Lest this all sound too foofy... there is actually a medical branch of science dedicated to the study of fingerprints. As quoted from the IIHA site:

"The study of fingerprints by doctors and other scientists is called Dermatoglyphics: dermato=skin, glyphics=carvings, skin carvings; a name coined by Dr. Harold Cummins in 1926. Dr. Cummins is commonly referred to as the father of Dermatoglyphics, and his seminal work (with Dr. Charles Midlo), ironically titled Fingerprints, Palms, and Soles (souls?), is considered the standard in the field."

I'm intrigued so I'm going to investigate a bit further...

Just do it

OK, so when I made the promise to do one small thing for myself I fully intended to do it. It's a pedicure for God'ssake, what's the big deal. Yeah, didn't quite get there. It did go thru my mind tho. It went something like this: I'll go to the salon after I finish all this stuff I've been putting off forever like laundry, dishes... I should just go, but it's like $30 dollars and I still haven't paid for the boy's summer camp, the electric bill, my dentist...This never ends, it's like torture. This seems to be some kind of illness that strikes a lot of women, putting everything and everyone else first while ignoring our own needs. That's what makes a good wife, mom, person right? I say no more! I'm deserving too, right? I would like to say that now I'm off to the salon but in truth I'm gonna go finish that laundry then paint the bathroom. Baby steps, I'll go get a bowl of ice cream first.

Spring Equinox

Welcome to the first day of Spring! Today is the Spring Equinox, which is one of the two days in a year that the amount of daylight and night is approximately equal. From now on until the first day of summer the days will get progressively longer. Then the days will get shorter again. Autumn Equinox is the other day of the year when day and night are equal.

Equinoxes are celebrated in many cultures in many different ways. Traditionally a celebration of rebirth in ancient cultures, we now celebrate the resurrection of Christ shortly after the Equinox. Easter is in fact calculated by finding the Sunday following the first Full Moon after March 20th.

Every year the Equinoxes are on March 20th and September 20th, theoretically. The specific day and time that night and day are equal varies from place to place on the globe. For more information about the details see National Geographics Spring Equinox article.

Death of a Scale - Part II

Yes, my scale is dead. I took that as a hint - no, jerk, not that kind of hint.

So I lost like 30 pounds last year. And then came January and flat line. Now, I made it through the holidays still losing weight and my husband filed for divorce in January so mostly I've just been really excited that I wasn't gaining anything. What worked last year was just focusing on having a more healthy lifestyle. I hardly ever got on my scale at all.

So we Divas have this little Diva Consequences game. So my fellow Divas were helping me out by adding losing weight to the game last month. Everything else we've done this with has been super productive so I was all excited. Then as soon as the game started I lost five pounds and got all excited. I was weighing in once a month for my deadline. So two days before the deadline, I go on a trip and start eating everything in sight. Yep you guessed it - right back to flatline. There were of course consequences (thus the name Diva Consequences) which is a whole nother story.

Then the game started over this month. Now that my scale is dead, I don't actually know if I've gained or lost so far this month. But I'm noticing the pants that were starting to get loose aren't so I'm taking that as a bad sign. So then I started thinking I needed to go get a new one and was planning my Target run(which of course, I kept procrastinating on) and then I realized The Universe is sending me a hint.

I did much better losing weight when I wasn't focused on how much I weigh. So I'm gonna take the hint. I do just fine without a TV. I don't know what the hell I need a scale for.....

Death of a Scale - Part I

There was this raging party at my house this past weekend. There was a fight over who weighed more so I know the scale still worked then. Later beer got poured on someone's crotch which lead to a beer/cider fight and fluids flying about the kitchen (where my scale is) so I don't know if there's beer in my scale and that's the problem, or what.

But now when I get on my scale it looks like its thinking for awhile (its old school digital) and then pops up with its answer:

0

Yeah, um, pretty damn sure that's not how much I weigh.

But then on the other hand - maybe that's a hint - Stop stressin about it!

Long Drives and Loud Noises

Driving is like therapy for me. Usually a long drive is all I need to clear my mind and find my "happy place". Whether it's a road trip or quick run to the store, when I'm behind the wheel of my machine, I feel at ease.

I recently found myself en route from Los Angeles to Long Beach with a fully loaded ipod and all the time in the world. On my journey, my mind wandered into forgotten territory: my parents divorce. My brother and I spent a lot of time in the back of our mother's Subaru station wagon during our parents transition from a couple to a couple of singles. My mother drove for peace of mind...guess that's where I got it from.

There was this one instance that flashed before my eyes as I crawled down the 405: It was pouring rain, the fat chunky kind that pounds on the rooftop and squiggles down the windows, and we were driving through Bay Shore, NY. I was sitting behind the driver's seat, with my body slumped against the door. Carly Simon's "Coming Around Again" was playing on the tape deck, and in between the vocals I could hear my mom crying. It was the moment that I realized, "Shit, this is really happening".

I liked the long drives we would take during those tough times. I would look out the window and let my mind wander, as it often had a tendency to do. Whatever music was on the tape deck - Carly Simon or Billy Joel or Madonna or Fine Young Cannibals - would be the backdrop to all the stories and scenarios my mind would create. The music eased the pain of what my mother, my family, and what I was going through. I truly believe that in those formative years, my love and appreciation for music took root.

It reminds me of how flowers grow from where dirt once was. The most painful situations, the ones that prompt us to question our creator, our selves, and our sanity are not at all in vain. I take solace in that fact and know that life will give me exactly what I need, just when I need it.

The Man Rules

My husband came home from work the other day and read me this set of rules. We both got a chuckle out of them, mainly because they are so true!

The Man Rules

These are our rules! Please note, these are all numbered "1 " ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports: It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. Burping is talking

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football, the history of aluminum, or the latest Myth Buster.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight. But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Shoes, Shoes, SHOES

I've never been much of a shoe shopper. But lately I've been bitten by the bug and I'll find the slightest excuse to go shoe shopping. The day before yesterday I was at the mall, clothes shopping, and the time got away from me. I looked up to realize I was supposed to be arriving at my destination in the next five minutes and I had just loaded up a dressing room with 30 things to try on. So I rushed thru the batch, made my purchases, put half of them on and stopped at Payless next door for some emergency shoes. I mean, I had to, it was a matter of practicality since I no longer had time to go home to change as I planned. And lucky me, there were some cute earrings to match too! So you see my dilemma, you see what I've been reduced to, emergency forced shoe shopping. Or maybe it was all just an excuse. Maybe I've just turned into a shoe whore.

Support Works!

I've just been contemplating the glory of having the other Divas in my life. I am so very appreciative and grateful for who they are and how they are with me. This space we have created is blooming because we are learning how to support each other better.

I have always had a hard time asking for help or letting people help me. That hasn't changed completely by any long stretch of the imagination. And I'm learning. I'm learning in my marriage, I'm learning in it ending, I'm learning in my friendships and even with my acquaintances. I am discovering its more than ok to ask for help - its necessary. And in letting people help me I am creating room for them to let me help them back.

There is a symmetry, connectedness I feel in the process of relationship building that is just critical to my make up. As I said to someone recently "I run on relationships", I really do. They are what make me tick, what energizes me and brings joy to my life. And in the last few years I have learned this new component of relationships called support. I haven't quite got it down, but I'm learning. And it works.

And some day it might even be easy.

Thanks Divas!

Oh Yeah!

Tomorrow is my first real, paid singing gig. This is a monumental moment in the history of Liz Granite.

I have been asked to sing on an industrial rock version of Joan Jett's hard-edged rock classic, "Oh Yeah". I feel as though my dreams are coming to fruition at light speed. I am making a living being my fabulous self: a rocker, a writer, a creator of beauty, a self-expressionist.

While I haven't typically been the kind of person who seeks validation at every turn, I am feeling validated. And it feels good. I paid my bills today with money I made doing what I love. How many people on this planet can really say that truthfully? I feel so fortunate to get to this point in my life where being myself and sharing it with the world pays the bills!

Oh yeah...

Will a mental adjustment help?

So I'm thinking about women this week and my love/hate relationship with them. I can't pinpoint the exact moment when women in general became the enemy - approach with great caution and trust no one. It was either grade school with the countless things girls do to eachother or the sexual battlefield that is the early 20's. Either way, here I am way past my 20's and without a solid backbone of girlfriends like most women seem to have. Am I missing something? When I see a group of women out having a good time I want to join them and do all that girlie sharing crap. But then when I do spend time with a group, they either bore or annoy me (divas excluded). Can you see my bad attitude problem here? And then my free time is limited and I would rather spend most of it at home with my family (who also annoy me) or consumed in my projects (not annoying). Possibly it's the women I meet, mostly all moms who want to talk about their amazing kids or bitch about their husband. Shut the fuck up!! This is not a new problem for me and I know where it's coming from, but that will come under another post titled why 7th grade sucked. The fact is that this, like most things that bother me, has a solution - I just don't want to bother with the effort. Like so many other things, it all comes down to laziness.

Internet Dating - An Insiders Guide Part II

Internet Dating - My Story
Wanna know who I am and what I'm rambling about this? Check out my previous Internet Dating post.

Internet Dating - Screening
Let's face it ladies men are better at this...they look at pictures, eliminate the impossible read further and narrow it down with their single focused minds. We see so many possibilities (hopefully we're all past the point where we see the potential - i.e. perfect with a few changes we plan to implement - instead of the man) that further investigation may be required. I tend to google search people for more background info - but that's just me.

The primary thing to remember when reading profiles is the random abundance in the world. We tend to operate from the idea that there is one person out there for us and we need to find him like a needle in a haystack. Lose this idea! It will make you desperate or at least make you act desperate. There is no need to look under rocks. If the guy is a chain smoker and you cant stand the thought of inhaling a cig then dont read further. Even if he was otherwise perfect - that one thing can ruin it. Be willing to move on, there are plenty of profiles to sort thru just keep going.

Internet Dating - The First Meeting
Keep it simple, go for coffee. You'll probably both know in the first five minutes if this is going anywhere. So grab a drink, check each other out and then act accordingly. If its a perfect match you can move onto something after your caffeine fix. If not then you can cut bait and run without wasting a lot of each others time. Keep it casual, keep it simple and remember You Are Having Fun!!!!!

Internet Dating - An Insiders Guide Part I

Internet Dating - My Story
Let's talk about match.com, you hear the stories, everyone's got one I met my husband there..or someone's cousin did or someone else's best friends sister or... blah blah blah. So its become socially acceptable to date online and more and more people are jumping into the internet dating pool. And there's plenty to learn about this new style of dating.

I was online dating way back in 1998 when this was still a completely taboo subject and no one wanted to admit they were doing it. I dated online all the way thru 2004 when I met my husband (not from online dating). Recently divorced, I thought I'd go back and give internet dating another try. So I signed up for Match.com for a month so see what changed, what stayed the same and just the general state of affairs in Internet Dating.

Internet Dating - Safety Precautions
First off, lets remember these are strangers. No matter how much you email, im, chat or talk you still don't know them very well. Take some basic precautions. Meet in public places, don't take them back to your house and don't go back to theirs. I have very good intuition and so have had no real problems personally. And there are plenty of horror stories out there so don't be one of them.

Internet Dating - Profile Writing Tips for Men
Don't talk about how uncomfortable you are doing this and how you don't know what to say. Don't tell us what your friends say. Have the confidence to just be yourself, know yourself and put it out there. Its much easier for a woman to respect you if you have self confidence.

Internet Dating - Profile Writing Tips for Women
Men are visual. Pictures, Pictures, PICTURES!!! If you are uncomfortable with this just don't date online. Be comfortable being you. Full body shots are a necessity. It doesn't do you any good for a man to like your face then show up to meet you and find you aren't his type. Putting up recent accurate pictures (and the more the merrier) reduces the amount of face to face rejection you will have to deal with.

Internet Dating - Profile Writing Tips for Men and Women
* Be yourself. Its really easy to just click and keep going when your profile sounds like everyone else's. Got a unique hobby, a favorite TV show or something you just love? Talk about it. It will help catch attention and have people more interested in getting to know you.
* Be honest about what you are looking for - do you want to date, meet the love of your life, just have some fun? Let people know where you want to take it.
* Don't write a novel. Yes we all have alot of wants and needs and things to share about ourselves. And that's what dating is for...you dont have to cram it all into your profile.
* Do answer the questions. Yes it does matter, yes people do want to read your answers. Take the time to give at least some fair representation of yourself.
* Have fun!

Keep in mind that when you take it to the real world there will be a whole new dynamic to take in. There will be adjusting. There will be plenty of people you do not connect with. There are no guarantees and it may take awhile. So please, don't take yourself or the process too seriously. Relax, enjoy, have fun and just take it easy. It will all work out in the end. Happy Dating!