Long Drives and Loud Noises

Driving is like therapy for me. Usually a long drive is all I need to clear my mind and find my "happy place". Whether it's a road trip or quick run to the store, when I'm behind the wheel of my machine, I feel at ease.

I recently found myself en route from Los Angeles to Long Beach with a fully loaded ipod and all the time in the world. On my journey, my mind wandered into forgotten territory: my parents divorce. My brother and I spent a lot of time in the back of our mother's Subaru station wagon during our parents transition from a couple to a couple of singles. My mother drove for peace of mind...guess that's where I got it from.

There was this one instance that flashed before my eyes as I crawled down the 405: It was pouring rain, the fat chunky kind that pounds on the rooftop and squiggles down the windows, and we were driving through Bay Shore, NY. I was sitting behind the driver's seat, with my body slumped against the door. Carly Simon's "Coming Around Again" was playing on the tape deck, and in between the vocals I could hear my mom crying. It was the moment that I realized, "Shit, this is really happening".

I liked the long drives we would take during those tough times. I would look out the window and let my mind wander, as it often had a tendency to do. Whatever music was on the tape deck - Carly Simon or Billy Joel or Madonna or Fine Young Cannibals - would be the backdrop to all the stories and scenarios my mind would create. The music eased the pain of what my mother, my family, and what I was going through. I truly believe that in those formative years, my love and appreciation for music took root.

It reminds me of how flowers grow from where dirt once was. The most painful situations, the ones that prompt us to question our creator, our selves, and our sanity are not at all in vain. I take solace in that fact and know that life will give me exactly what I need, just when I need it.